


When You Go, Take This Heart, I’ll Make No More Use Of It When There’s No More You

by thecoloursinthegravel



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Poetry, poem, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-28 00:14:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14437287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoloursinthegravel/pseuds/thecoloursinthegravel
Summary: That nightYou said something along the lines of wishing you were alright





	When You Go, Take This Heart, I’ll Make No More Use Of It When There’s No More You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am currently very ill and hoping to go to a chronic pain inpatient programme across the country as nothing has helped to ease the pain and I seem to only be getting worse and worse. I'd love to get back to writing and I miss posting on here every day. Absolutely no pressure at all, but if you have a little to spare and have enjoyed any of my writing, I would be so, so grateful if you would consider helping me raise the funds to travel to this hospital. 
> 
> If you wouldn't mind please looking at my ko-fi account: ko-fi.com/thecoloursinthegravel
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)  
> P.S. Sorry it isn't a link and you have to copy and paste!
> 
> P.P.S. I know this needs so much editing, I just wanted to post something, sorry it isn't quite up to par. Have a lovely day :)

 

You said something along the lines of wishing you were alright

Hoping that fog hidden fingertips would come out and hold your hand again

And guide you through the grey

I remember your eyes

The glint from the tears you were trying so desperately not to let fall

Your mouth was an open soft circle

Too tired to keep it closed

Too worn out from crying too hard

Needing a bigger space to breathe through

The muscles in your face relaxed and tense at the same time

 

Your eyelashes stuck together in glittery, watery stars

Your nose red from all the tissues

Your cheeks pink from all the scrunched-fist rubbing

Brutally trying to scrub away any evidence the wet tear track marks were trying to leave behind 

The evidence that you feel so much and no where near enough

All that running over and spilling from your eyes 

All that pain needs to go somewhere

 

Your hair is the first thing I'd touch if I needed something to feel like home

Reminds me of evenings in

And your head in my lap

And my fingers running gentle lines over the side of your head

Combing through the strands like I was practicing how it feels to touch

And that night it was pulled loosely into a half-hearted bun only meant to keep it off the battleground that was your face

Stormy forehead frowns and thunder shouts took aim and lost against good old rain

The clouds opened up and hit like bullets

But once you'd let your finger slip on the trigger

This gun wouldn't stop going off

 

That night

You said something along the lines of wishing you were alright

And every part of me could see it

Every part of me could see every part of you 

And you buzzed with want

You screamed need

You screamed needing a house that felt like a home inside your own body again

I can't blame you for a second

I want to give it to you

I want to give you everything you ever want or need or think you need 

I want to make everything right 

And that night

When you said something along the lines of wishing you were alright

I thought of all the ways I could make it happen

But it occurred to me

I don't actually know what alright looks like

I don't think you did either 

And I guess

Maybe

That's why it's so hard?

It's like driving to a town and not knowing what it looks like or where it is 

All you know is you need to get there

 

Really

What I wanted to let you know

Is just how much

I wish you'd have let me drive with you for hours on end through wrong streets and missed turnings

Because at least that way there's a chance

A possibility 

We could have found that little town

I wish you'd have let me try

I wish you hadn't doused the car in petrol

And lit a match 

And burnt the last bridge you had left 

And I really really fucking wish

You hadn't stayed to watch the flames chase you too

I wish you'd ran faster

I wish

Oh god, I wish

They hadn't caught you

 

You said one night

Something along the lines of wishing you were alright

I wish now

More than anything, my love 

That you are 

 

I'm not 


End file.
